it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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