My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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