so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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