You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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