Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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