mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
