Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial

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(912): View more from Georgia

i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar

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(702): View more from Nevada

He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.

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(660): View more from Missouri

We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?

(217): View more from Illinois

I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar

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(650): View more from California

Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse

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(606): View more from Kentucky

I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘

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