My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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