She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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