Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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