yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
