At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Randomize
