Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize