kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
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Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
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I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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