i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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