Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
