So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
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Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
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I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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