Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
