my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
