I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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