Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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