i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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