he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
