Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation