You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.