Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
