Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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