My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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