Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
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