You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
