Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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