My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
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I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
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I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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