she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
