I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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