Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
3 2 1 whiskey
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize