I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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