Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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