Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize