Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
