I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
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