Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
