Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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