playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
