hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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