I got chris browned last night
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
