chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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