my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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