Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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