So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
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Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
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its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not