So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.