Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
