I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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