I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
