We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
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I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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