I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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