Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
