Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
