He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
