I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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