And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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