Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
