He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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